I’ve alluded to it in mentioning some of the wonderful quotes I get from students inquiring about my relationship status, but to confirm I am single. In fact, I’ve never had what I would consider a serious relationship. I’ve technically had two “boyfriends,” but given that each of those last a grand total of maybe 6 weeks each I’m sure you can understand the quotation marks. I had a few dates with another guy last summer which I knew wasn’t going anywhere fast even before he texted me to tell me he didn’t feel a click – before promptly texting my friend to ask her out instead.
Having always been a tomboy, I’m used to having a lot of male friends. I’m quite comfortable being “one of the guys” which seems to have both positive and negative results. The positive – I get to meet a lot of cool guys and I have some good insight into the mind of the male species. The negative – I get friend zoned a lot or I become the “replacement girlfriend.” By replacement girlfriend I mean I’m the girl that guys call for help/advice when they want the support of a girlfriend without all the other entanglements because they’d rather separate emotions and sex. Or, if their girlfriend cancels on something, they’ll call me up instead. The upshot of the whole thing? A lot of girls view me as a threat because I’m in with the guys. What they don’t realize is that by the very fact that I am hanging out with the guys so much, that’s why the guys aren’t interested in me.
Not to mention the number of times I’ve fallen for a friend and gotten shot down when I’ve gotten the guts to actually say something (usually with the help of some liquid courage). The only time I’ve had a guy friend ask me out was in my first boyfriend and that was only after some of our other friends pushed him into it. It also turned out he was actually still crushing on another girl in our group.
So what’s a girl to do? A friend of mine says she has the perfect guy for me, but he lives in a different city almost 3 hours away so that’s not likely to fly. Then there’s a guy I know from one of my many jobs who I’ve been infatuated with for almost a year now. We’re pretty good friends and have a fair amount in common, but enough differences that we like to jokingly argue over them. We see each other outside of work regularly too and text almost daily it seems lately. Neither of us seems to be able to do much about it – hell even when we were drunk one weekend last summer and spent most of the night sitting out on the deck together, we danced around the idea. In fact the one moment we got really close to it and we were looking each other straight in the eye, we burst into giggles. Oh nerves, plus alcohol – always a dangerous mix.
What do you guys think? Have you been in similar situations? And for that matter how do you feel about workplace entanglements? Is it different when the job has an expiry date (as this one does for me)?