Apparently I’m on a tear lately with pet peeves. I guess I’m turning into a btiter old lady already. Oh well. This is another update involving a pet peeve of mine – the struggle to make plans with friends.
As your life changes, how you choose to organize your time also changes. You find that you no longer see your friends every single day because 1) you no longer ride the bus to school with them and b) you also don’t sit through 7 hours of class with them, plus lunch. It used to be you would only hang out on weekends – because hanging out on a school night was a no go with your parents. University is different from high school – if you move away from home you have more freedom from your parents – you will hang out on school nights, and maybe even go to class hungover the next day. Weeknights are also for more low key functions – going for coffee with a friend, a movie maybe. Meanwhile, the weekend is party time. If you live in residence it’s also very different – you meet a bunch of new people who happen to live just steps away from you. It’s mindblowing.
Then you finish university, you start working – and suddenly you don’t feel the need to go out all the time. You also prefer to know well in advance what your plans are – or at least early enough in the evening to know if you should get a shower before leaving the house because you smell of small children from work.
Texting me at 5pm and telling me a mutual friend is in town is all well in good. Not replying to my texts for a plan? Bad. When I call you 2.5 hours later asking for a plan and I get “uhhh…call you back!” Again – bad. When I already told you I don’t feel like going to the bar cause I worked some crazy hours between jobs that day? That’s a sign that I’m going to bail on you if you won’t give me a straight answer. While this paritcular friend was hedging about what they were doing – another friend texted me and was like “We’re going to that movie tonight.” I gave the first friend until 9pm to get back to me with plans since I had agreed to go with her first. That gave her 4 hours to let me know what was going on.
So I went to the movies. As I’m getting my ticket, I finally get a text with “the plan” which amounted to “We’re going to a friend of X’s but they’re ok with it if you come too.”
Yeah I think I’m going to take a pass – if I wasn’t going to before, that sort of clinched the deal by making me feel like you had to see if I was even allowed to chill with you guys.
I enjoyed the movie immensely by the way.