Maybe it’s because more and more of my friends are getting married, settling down and reaching the point in their lives where they talk about having babies, but I’m starting to question how I feel about having babies. Things I do know:
1. I at some point do want children of my own. Preferably 2 at this point.
2. I would be a horrible single parent – I need a husband to make it work.
3. My kids either need a good sense of humour or will need a lot of therapy after growing up with me as a mother.
4. While I enjoy teaching classes and running camps with 20-50 children, I still really enjoy being able to hand them back at the end of the day because I can then go home to my mercifully quiet house.
I think the last one gives it away – I’m not actually ready to have kids of my own. I want them in the future – but not right this minute. Part of it I think – aside from the obvious chronic single-dom that I live in – is that I don’t have a steady job. I don’t want to do the kid thing until I have a full time permanent job as a teacher that provides me with paid maternity leave. From a practical standpoint – I think it would be irresponsible of me to have a child I cannot support financially – and I’m not in a position where I can even really support myself at the moment.
Doesn’t change the fact that every time I see a baby I go “Awwwwwww” and think how much I want one. I think I’m more maternal than I originally thought. For a long time I was very adamant that I was going to find a guy who would be a stay at home dad so I could work. Now though? I dunno – I want to be there for my kids which could mean going to part time when they’re young if I can afford it.
Funny how as you get older you change your mind about things.
Also – I will not give my kids stupid names that teachers can’t pronounce or are just weird. Like Apple. Seriously?